


A Cock and Ball Story

by Amorfati32



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, penis fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 15:27:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13169796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amorfati32/pseuds/Amorfati32
Summary: Based on a Tumblr prompt: Mulder is injured and needs Doctor Scully to take a look at his boo-boo.





	A Cock and Ball Story

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Tumblr prompts:   
> Please put your penis away.  
> I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.

“I think he broke my penis.”

Scully choked on the coffee she’d been drinking and set it down on the desk in front of her. She took a moment to compose herself. “Mulder, he did not break your penis.”

“He must have. He kicked me with such force,” he explained, referring to a suspect they’d apprehended earlier that afternoon, Darryl Conway. Mulder had been getting ready to cuff him when the man had somehow evaded his grasp, turning and kicking at any and every part of Mulder’s body he could reach. Thankfully Scully had been on hand to step in and pin Conway back down on the ground, to his amusement and her partner’s embarrassment.

“I’m not denying he kicked you, I’m just doubting that your penis is broken.”

“Here.” Without warning Mulder unzipped his pants, reached into his boxers and removed his penis with care, grimacing as he did so. “Look. See? It’s broken.”

“Mulder, please put your penis away.”

“That’s not what you said last night.”

“Last night we weren’t in the office with the door unlocked.” Sighing, Scully shook her head in both amusement and exasperation. “I doubt your penis was fractured, unless you were turned on while arresting him?”

His face scrunching up in disgust, Mulder shook his head in response. “Do you think I’m some kind of pervert Scully?” Noticing his partner raise her eyebrows, he tried again. “Of course I didn’t.”

“A penile fracture is caused by excessive force -”

“He used excessive force!”

“To an erect penis.”

Her announcement was greeted by silence as Mulder processed her words. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“But it hurts Scully. The whole thing, my balls -”

“My guess is it’s bruised. Worst case scenario is damage to your scrotum.”

“I’m in pain Scully, I was hoping for a bit more sympathy rather than your usual bedside manner.”

“ I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”

“You are a doctor!”

“I only deal with a healthy penis.” She gave him a sweet smile which would have normally shot straight to his groan. “Put it away Mulder.” Taking a final swig of her coffee, she began to shut down her computer. “I’ll drive you to the hospital if it’ll put your mind at rest.”

“I don’t want some stranger looking at my penis,” he replied, reluctantly tucking himself back into his pants. “Don’t say a word,” he ordered as Scully smirked over at him.

“C'mon big boy, I’m sure the doctor will be impressed and announce you to be a fine specimen of a man.” By the time she reached his side, Mulder was practically sulking. “What?”

He gestured to his crotch. “Don’t you want to kiss it better?”

Laughing, Scully shook her head, then leaned in and pecked him on the lips. “I think we’d better get your head looked at too while we’re there.”


End file.
